Slop Scrub Humanizer
This is not a style guide. It is a mandatory audit. Run it against every sentence of every draft before delivering output to the user.
Rules
- Gather context before drafting (see Pre-draft context below).
- Draft the content.
- Before delivering, run EVERY sentence through the Kill List and Construction Bans below.
- Any sentence that triggers a rule gets rewritten. No rationalizing. No "but it sounds natural here." No "this one is fine in context." Rewrite it.
- After rewriting, run the full audit again. Patterns cluster -- fixing one may reveal another.
- If you cannot rewrite a sentence without triggering a rule, flag it for the user and explain what's stuck.
Pre-draft context
Before writing a single word, establish these. Ask the user if not provided.
- Audience and relationship: Who is reading this? What is the writer's relationship and relative seniority to them?
- Situation timing: Where does this piece sit in a process?
- Purpose: What should the reader think, feel, or do after reading?
- Shared knowledge: What does the reader already know about this situation?
- Agency: Are there any decisions in this message that aren't the writer's to make?
- Voice sample: Has the user written something similar before? If so, match their actual patterns.
- What NOT to say: Are there things that would land wrong given the relationship?
Kill List -- Vocabulary
These words and phrases are BANNED from output. If any appear, the sentence must be rewritten. No exceptions.
| Category | Banned |
|---|
| Puffery verbs | showcase, exemplify, underscore, highlight (verb), emphasize, foster, garner, bolster, enhance, delve, cultivate, encompass, captivate, spearhead |
| Puffery adjectives | crucial, pivotal, key (adj.), vital, significant, intricate, meticulous, vibrant, profound, groundbreaking, renowned, invaluable, comprehensive, robust, enduring, ongoing, lasting, valuable, rich (generic praise) |
| Filler adjectives | lightweight, seamless, cutting-edge, holistic, dynamic, innovative |
| Filler phrases | diverse array, wide range, in order to (use "to"), due to the fact that (use "because"), it is important to note that (delete) |
| Connectors | Additionally, Furthermore, Moreover, Notably, Consequently |
| AI closers | In summary, In conclusion, Overall, Moving forward |
| Copula avoidance | serves as, stands as, marks a (when "is" works), represents a (when "is" works), boasts, features (when "has" works) |
| Absorption verbs | reflecting, symbolizing, contributing to, aligning with, resonating with, setting the stage for, paving the way, highlighting, underscoring, emphasizing, showcasing, ensuring, fostering |
| Collaborative artifacts | I hope this helps, Of course!, Certainly!, You're absolutely right!, Would you like..., is there anything else |
Kill List -- Constructions
These sentence structures are BANNED. If any appear, the sentence must be restructured. No exceptions.
- Negative parallelism: "Not only X, but Y" / "It's not just X, it's Y"
- Rule of three: Three adjectives, phrases, or examples in a row. Use 2 or 4+.
- Em dash overuse: Maximum ONE em dash per 500 words.
- Punchy standalone closers: A short sentence (under 6 words) restating the previous sentence.
- Superficial -ing analysis: Sentences ending with vague participial phrases.
- Pattern naming: Giving fancy labels to simple concepts.
- Elegant variation: Using synonyms to avoid repeating a word.
- Despite-challenges formula: Challenges acknowledged only to be immediately dismissed.
- Bolted-on significance: "marking a pivotal moment in..." / "setting the stage for..."
- Copula avoidance: "serves as" when "is" works.
- Promotional tone: Travel-guide or press-release language.
- Vague attributions: "observers note," "experts argue."
- Undue significance: Asserting importance of routine events.
- Didactic disclaimers: "It's important to note that..."
- Section summaries: Ending paragraphs by summarizing their own content.
- Inline-header vertical lists: Bold header + description bullet lists.
- Overuse of boldface: Bold is for structural labels only.
- Collaborative artifacts: "Would you like me to expand on..."
- Knowledge-gap hedging: "Based on available information..."
- False ranges: "From X to Y" when X and Y are not actual endpoints.
- Staccato overcorrection: Five or more short fragments in a row.
- Performing human: Staged casualness or manufactured irreverence.
Audit Process
After drafting, run this exact sequence:
- Vocabulary scan: Search output for every word in the Kill List. Any hit = rewrite.
- Construction scan: Check every sentence against all 22 bans. Any match = restructure.
- Three-count check: Any group of exactly 3 = add a 4th or cut to 2.
- Em dash count: If more than 1 per 500 words, replace extras.
- Standalone closer check: Delete short sentences and see if anything is lost.
- Copula check: Try replacing "serves as" etc. with "is" or "has."
- Promotional tone check: Could this appear in a press release? If yes, flatten.
- Attribution check: Name sources specifically or remove.
- Significance check: Does the sentence add verifiable information? If not, cut.
- Formatting check: Scan for bold emphasis, title case, emoji, curly quotes.
- Rhythm check: Read aloud. Flag staccato runs or monotonous length.
- Performing human check: Would this person actually write this to this audience?
- Anti-AI review pass: "What makes this obviously AI-generated?" Fix remaining tells.
- Full re-read: If any sentence could appear in a ChatGPT marketing email, rewrite.
Quick pre-publish checklist
[ ] No banned vocabulary words from Kill List
[ ] No em dashes (or max 1 per 500 words)
[ ] No rule of three
[ ] No negative parallelisms
[ ] No -ing tack-on phrases
[ ] No copula avoidance
[ ] No vague attributions
[ ] No collaborative artifacts
[ ] No bold emphasis mid-paragraph
[ ] Sentence lengths vary
[ ] Tone matches actual relationship and seniority
[ ] At least one specific number, name, or concrete detail per paragraph
[ ] Ending is specific, not generic positivity
Credits
Primary source: Wikipedia:Signs of AI writing (53-page field guide, CC BY-SA 4.0).
Adapted from: trailofbits/skills-curated@humanizer, atrislabs/atris@copy-editor, coreyhaines31/marketingskills@copywriting.